Only Meta Believe
by Cassandra Spayke
Summary: The worst thing about being a hero are the holodramas that supposedly tell your adventures. AU - or is it...? Companion piece to "Only Make Believe."


Companion piece to "Only Make Believe."

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **The New Jedi Order books drove me far away from the SW EU. Recently, I caught up on what's happened to my former favorite characters since then. This, and "Only Make Believe," are the result.

This was also inspired by reading on Wookiepedia that Luke and Mara were supposed to be the parents of more than one child in Vector Prime, but R.A. Salvatore refused to put the children in the book when he wrote the kriffing thing.

**SPOILERS:** Mostly Vector Prime, which is about when I left the EU for good. And an implied one for Sacrifice.

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own them. If I did, they would be long free of the clutches of the Sha-Rosti and far, far away from Reydel.

* * *

Sadness and despair crashed into her with the strength of a thousand tsunamis.

Mara Jade Skywalker bolted upright. Sleep was discarded, already a distant memory. Automatically, she reached out through the Force for her husband. If trouble could be found, he'd be knee deep in it. But he was safe, light years away on Coruscant. She received a sleepy brush of his Force sense against hers, followed by what felt suspiciously like a yawn. His meetings with the New Republic officials were proceeding according to normal, then.

The distress and grief slammed into her again, causing her to double over. Her senses now fully awake, Mara was able to pinpoint the source. And she was only a few rooms away.

Throwing on a robe, she ran down the hall of the Jedi Master's residence on Yavin IV and entered her youngest child's room. Ami was asleep, but locked deeply in a bad dream. Blonde tresses tangled on her pillow as tears fell from scrunched up eyes. Two small fists clenched and unclenched the coverlet. "Mama mama mama," she whimpered.

"Mama?" Ami was dreaming about her? A cold, hard hand squeezed and twisted, deep inside Mara. _This better be a nightmare and not a Force vision_.

"Ami, sweetheart, wake up. It's just a bad dream." She gently reached into the five year old's mind, sending reassurance and warm love, while softly shaking her daughter's shoulder.

Ami's eyes, wide and blue like her father's, flew open. "Mama!" She sat up, flinging her arms around her mother's neck. Mara had to loosen the grip so she could breath.

"Shhh. It's okay. Everything's fine."

Ami trembled in Mara's arms. "You were sick. Everyone thought you were going to die. Even Daddy."

"What?" Mara smoothed a damp curl off Ami's flushed cheek. "I'm perfectly healthy. Here. Reach out like we've taught you. See for yourself."

She felt her daughter's tentative Force probe and opened up her senses to her. Ami smiled, her lower lip still wobbling. "You feel normal. Not sick."

"I told you. It was just a bad dream."

"No. It was real. I saw it." Ami's eyes filled with tears again.

The cold hand was squeezing Mara's heart now. "When you say you saw it," she said cautiously, "do you mean you saw it in your mind? Through the Force?"

Ami shook her head. "No. On the holovision." She dug her head deep into her mother's chest, new sobs threatening to break out.

Mara looked up from the upset child in her arms to see two pairs of eyes, one green, one blue, watching them from the doorway. "Ben. Owen." Her voice was deceptively mild.

"Is Ami alright?" Ben asked.

"She will be. You, on the other hand…."

"It wasn't Ben's fault," Owen said quickly. "I turned on the holovision."

Mara narrowed her gaze. "I left Ben in charge. You both assured me that, at the advanced ages of ten and eight, you could look after Ami for an hour or so without a nanny droid."

Ben kicked at a corner of the rug. "I'm sorry, Mom. But you said we could watch a holodrama."

"I said you could watch the Original Trilogy holovids. I did not say you could tune in to that…," she bit back the inventive swear words on the tip of her tongue, "New Jedi Order holoseries. You know the rule in this house."

"There are no holodramas except the Original Trilogy." Ben sighed.

"And the Prequel Trilogy, but only when your father or Aunt Leia are in the room." Too many questions about family legacy and too many potentially scarred psyches otherwise.

"But we've _seen_ those," Owen said. "And you're not in them. The holonet said you were in the New Jedi Order series."

Thank the Force she wasn't in the Original Trilogy. They didn't plan on telling the children about the Emperor's Hand until they were much older. Little did Mara know, when she snuck into the production offices and destroyed all existing holorecordings of a scene featuring a certain dancer in Jabba's Palace, that she was protecting her future children from her past.

She shook her head. "That's no excuse for breaking the rule. What have we told you about the holodramas?"

"They are someone else's version of the story, and told only from a certain point of view," Ben and Owen recited together.

"And?"

"And the newer holoseries have no basis in reality." Ben scowled. "Why is that, Mom?"

She sighed, and looked down at Ami. Her youngest was quiet now, her eyes shining bright in the dim room. She kissed her forehead. "Why? Your Aunt Leia and your father needed money to fund the Rebel Alliance, and signed a very badly written contract that gives the producers the right to tell whatever stories they want using our family."

"But why _our_ family?" Owen's face wore an identical scowl.

She held out her unoccupied arm. The two boys ran toward her and made themselves comfortable on Ami's narrow bunk. "Because your father saved the galaxy. People know his name. And the holodrama producers know that if they put his name on a holoseries, or your uncle's or aunt's names, people will want to watch it."

"But why make up such silly stories? They made you really sick in this one, Mom. Everyone who had your disease had already died. And you and Dad couldn't feel each other through the Force." Ben sat against the headboard, his gaze steady on hers.

Mara called on every reserve she had to keep her temper from flaring into a supernova. Kriffing holodrama producers. They needed to count themselves lucky she was a Jedi Knight now. Otherwise they would've long been turned into nerf-kabobs.

"It's only make believe, Ben. Sometimes holodrama producers come up with ludicrous stories because they think that's what their audience wants."

"But you and Dad can communicate through the Force. We all can. Anyone who knows anything about us knows that. There's even a whole site on the holonet devoted to our family so the producers could have looked it up."

"Ben, you know even that site is put together from a certain point of view." But she smiled. "However, you're right. The holodrama producers really missed the Kessel Run by twenty parsecs on that one." She tapped him on the nose, lightly. "That is why your father and I tell you to research your homework, make sure you have it right."

"Yeah." Ben thought it over. "You know, that New Jedi Order episode we watched was really dumb. You couldn't sense the bad guy through the Force, but you didn't really say or do anything about it."

That did it. It was one thing to make her ill, or to kriff with the Force bond she and her husband shared. She and Luke would laugh about it later. But to make her appear to be _stupid?_

Her temper flamed, white hot and searing. She threw up a mental shield as fast as she could, but all three kids were looking at her with awe in their gaze.

Owen spoke first. "Wow, Mom. Too bad you didn't do that when you first met Nom Anor on the holoseries."

"Nom Anor? That's the name of the bad guy?"

The three children nodded. "And he's the one who made you sick," Ami said, crossing her arms with an attitude Mara had seen many times in a mirror.

Nom Anor. The name was vaguely familiar. Mara rewound her memory. An Outer Rim world, a pompous, supercilious local dignitary…who completely kriffed up the mission she and Luke were on. They were traveling with Han, Leia and Chewbacca and landed on Anor's planet for supplies. He ended up costing them much valuable time, as well as a new transponder for the _Falcon_ and at least two hydrospanners. Not to mention his bumbling almost destroyed the delicate peace between two warring systems that had taken the Jedi and New Republic months to negotiate.

"The real Nom Anor is an inconsequential local government leader on Reydel," Mara said. "A planet so close to the Unknown Regions, it's practically uncharted itself. Your father and I met him a few years ago. Believe me, he's no threat to me or to anyone else."

"So why did he want to hurt you and the other Jedi in the holoseries?" Owen stretched out on the bunk, yawning. His sister curled up next to him and closed her eyes.

"I don't know. Unless…." Well, she hadn't been overly polite to him when she discovered that he purposefully tried to screw up the peace process in order to give himself a bigger role. And destroyed her favorite blaster while he was at it. But she wasn't overly polite to a lot of people.

Besides, Chewie was the one who really tangled with Anor. She'd never seen the Wookie more eager to tear someone's arms off.

She searched her visual memory of his office. He had some papers on his desk…a map on his wall…"Ah. Now I remember. Nom Anor is related to the Sha-Rosti."

"The Sha-Rosti? Isn't that the clan who controls the holodrama rights?" Ben was the only child still wide awake.

Mara nodded. "Typical of his petty mind. Gets his kinsmen to put him in the holoseries as a villain. He's using it as a way to get back at me, to make him feel better about the shortcomings in his own life." She smiled at him. "You get used to it when you're a Skywalker."

"So people are going to come after me?" Ben asked.

"I hope not, love. But you're old enough to know that you can't control what other people think of you. Not," she held up a hand when she felt the directions of his thoughts, "even with a Force nudge. That way lies—"

"The Dark Side," they finished the sentence together. They grinned at each other.

"Dad would be proud of you." Ben smirked.

"Don't tell him," she warned sternly. Luke was usually the parent who ended a conversation with a lesson, not her. He wanted his children prepared for the battles they would inevitably be called on to fight. She just wanted them to have the childhood that had been denied her. But she couldn't keep the laughter from her eyes.

Ben yawned, his head starting to droop. "I'm really sorry, Mom. We just wanted to see the holoseries. I didn't mean to scare Ami."

She picked up his hand, and squeezed it gently. "I know. But next time, obey the rule. From what I hear, that particular holoseries is not meant for kids, even ones as grown up as you."

He nodded. "It wasn't very good, anyway. In the beginning, a Jedi Knight blew up some fighters for fun. It made Dad look like he doesn't know what he is doing with the Order."

A scathing response bubbled to the surface, but she managed to settle for a roll of her eyes. "I fail to understand why they insisted on attaching the Skywalker and Solo names to that holoseries, except to make more credits. Because that holoseries has nothing to do with who we are, or what we and the Jedi stand for. Remember that."

He yawned again. She rose to her feet and pulled him up with her.

"Let's go. I'll tuck you back in bed. Owen can stay here with Ami."

**

* * *

Two standard weeks later, on Coruscant**

"Did you sense that?" Mara grabbed her husband's arm. Luke Skywalker stared back at her, his gaze mirroring her alarm. "It's the same feeling I received from Ami, when she had that holovision nightmare."

"It's not Ami. Or Ben or Owen." He reached out with Force. She joined him. "It's Jacen."

"And Jaina. And Anakin."

Luke's comlink chirped. He answered it. "Han? What's going on? What's wrong with the kids?"

Han Solo's voice came over the speaker. "I'm hoping you'll tell me. They won't say anything, just keep hanging onto Chewie and sobbing their eyes out. He loves the attention, but I need to finish the repairs to the air filtration system before I pick up Leia from Bessimir. And damp Wookie is not the air refresh scent I was going for."

"Mara and I will be right there." Luke disconnected the comlink.

He turned to his wife. "Any idea what's affecting them?"

She checked her chrono. "Guess what just aired on holovision."

He groaned. "We should have robbed a bank, hijacked a supply convey, turned pirate. Anything instead of signing that blasted contract."

"Too late to cry over spilled blue milk now."

* * *

The atmosphere of the Solo residence resembled a funeral home.

Being young adults, the Solo kids tried to keep their tears under control. They protested that, of course, they knew the difference between make believe and real life and it was just a stupid holovision series and really, they had better things to do with their time than sit around and watch holodramas even if they were finally featured as main characters and were no longer being used on screen as kidnapper bait.

But Jaina would look at Chewbacca, and a tear would fall down her face. And Anakin would sense his sister's distress through the Force, causing his eyes to water. Jacen would feel his twin _and_ his brother, clench his fists to beat back the sadness, and fail miserably. A few minutes of heart-rendering sobs would commence. Then they would stop, blow their noses, and return to their too cool for Jedi Academy mode. Until the cycle began all over again.

Han had had more than enough by the time Luke and Mara arrived. "That's it. I'm canceling the holovision subscription."

Chewbacca howled, a series of short staccato roars.

"Yeah, I know, the news of your death has been greatly exaggerated," Han said. "We had no idea when we signed that contract all those years ago that it would be taken to this extreme."

More growls, the Wookie's eyes flashing dark and dangerous.

"Hey, I'm sorry the episode aired on Kashyyyk before you could contact Malla and Lumpy to warn them. But why are you angry at me? I didn't produce the karking thing!"

Chewbacca threw up his arms and shook his fists.

"Look, everyone knows that a moon can't just be pulled out of orbit in that way. And even if it were possible, which it isn't, the basic laws of physics don't work the way they showed on screen. The gravitational forces alone – we'd all be dead, me, Anakin, the _Falcon_ – not just you. If it were real, which it isn't!"

Chewbacca stomped off, Jaina running behind him to give him a hug.

"Why am I even arguing this?" Han ran a hand through his hair and turned to his brother-in-law. "Tell me again why we signed that blasted holodrama contract."

"Because you wanted a reward for rescuing Leia from the Death Star," Luke countered. "It left the Alliance bankrupt."

"So you're saying all this is all my fault?"

"It's not mine! I wasn't the one demanding to be paid."

"All I know is that it isn't mine. I married into the contract." Mara crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. The Solo kids began another bawling chorus in the background, with Chewie adding his own mournful yowls to the mix.

She wondered where Leia kept the headache pain reliever. She needed an extra strong dose.

Han shook his head. "I knew I should have blasted those production offices when they released that sappy _Courtship of Princess Leia _holovid."

"Give it a rest. That's not even close to being one of the worst holodramas they've put out." Luke snorted.

"But they made me look like a chump! I was conned in a sabacc game! Me!"

"You really want to play the game of who's been portrayed the worst? Were you shown building the galaxy's largest sandcastle?"

Mara rubbed her temples. "Neither of you were put on screen wearing a silver jumpsuit – silver! - or answering a comm wearing only Lando's shirt." She shuddered. Not that she didn't like Lando, she did like him, a lot, but seriously. She had standards.

Han grinned. "She wins."

"I don't know," Luke muttered under his breath.

Mara glanced at him. She knew he generally tried not to dwell on his holodrama characterization (or lack thereof.) Down that path was only anguish. Or anger. Either way, things he tried to avoid as a Jedi.

_I'm pretty sure the atrocities done to me were far greater than a silver jumpsuit. Besides, I like the idea of Mara dressed only in a shirt. Just not Lando's._

She arched an eyebrow at her husband. _I heard that_.

_You were supposed to._

Han sighed, world-weary. "I don't know what's worse. My kids turning on the water faucets or you two mentally flirting again."

Mara laughed. "I'd say I'm sorry, but you'd know I didn't mean it."

Han gave her one of his crooked smiles. "Meanwhile, what am I going to tell Leia? I leave to pick her up tomorrow. Three Force sensitive offspring with hormones charged to full was crazy making enough. Now thanks to that holoseries, the entire galaxy thinks I'm a grief stricken drunk."

"You don't want to know how many 'get well soon' messages I've received," Mara said dryly. "Some people confuse holovision with holonews a bit too much."

"I don't like that it's starting to affect the children. Not just your three, Han, but Ami had a terrible nightmare not too long ago." Luke's gaze hardened. "The holoseries and holodramas prior to this one – sure, they had silver jumpsuits and sandcastles. But they also remained pretty true to the galaxy as we know it, as we live it. There was dark, but also light. A balance.

"This holoseries…I sense a change," he continued slowly. "Almost malevolent. It features our names and is set in our galaxy, but there is no longer any desire to remember who we are, what we fought for. It's as if all they care about is making credits off the people who fondly remember the struggle between the Empire and the Rebellion. But they're upsetting the balance, creating darker and darker visions of us."

Luke stepped to the floor-to-ceiling window that ran the length of the Solo main living area and stared out at the lights of Coruscant. Mara followed him and wrapped an arm around his waist. He turned back to Han. "I fear the effect on the people who watch them, who won't be able to tell the holoseries from the real thing."

"But our hands are tied," Han said. "Leia's had all sorts of lawyers look at that contract. It's airtight."

"I asked Ghent to slice it," Mara confessed. "Make the contract disappear. But the encryption was too strong even for him."

"I don't suppose you could ask Karrde and his organization if they could, y'know, take them out…"

"They broker information, Solo, they're not a mercenary force," Mara replied tartly. "I did, however, ask Karrde to dig into the Sha-Rosti clan and Nom Anor for me."

"And?" Han's eyes narrowed.

"It seems the Sha-Rosti have moved their base of operations from Tamban to Reydel. Which may account for the shift in tone Luke has felt."

"I hated Reydel," Han muttered. "Kriffing backwater planet, full of people who-"

"Thought they knew us thanks to watching one or two holodramas-" Mara continued.

"But who never once stopped to ask us the pertinent questions. They didn't even want to watch _all_ of the holodramas to learn more," Luke finished with a rueful smile. "Their only desire was to know how many credits they could earn by having us endorse various merchandise."

"And don't forget our friend Nom Anor. He wanted to insert himself into our mission. Even though there was absolutely no reason for him to be there." Mara rolled her eyes.

"And he kept insisting he knew better than any of us. If we just listened to him, why, the galaxy would be so much better. More real. No more bubbles," Han did his best impersonation of Anor's whiny, high-pitched voice. "Whatever the kark 'no more bubbles' means."

"You're both being a bit hard on him. Anor had a thankless job on Reydel. Most mar'i'su's find their roles are underdeveloped and rather nonsensical. He merely craved excitement," Luke said.

"He took out the _Falcon_'s transponder, Luke. Chewie was beside himself trying to fix it. Are you really defending someone who hurt the _Falcon_?" Han's voice rose an octave.

"And he destroyed my favorite blaster. I had that blaster since before I met you," Mara reminded her husband with a scowl.

"I miss that blaster, too. I have fond memories of you holding it to my head." Luke sent her a brief mental caress through their bond. "I'm not trying to condone his actions, nor those of the Sha-Rosti," he continued in a more serious voice, "just trying to understand his point of view. He finally has his chance to live out the version of us he created in his head. Trouble is, it's—"

"A steaming pile of bantha poodoo?" Han offered.

The entry comm chimed before Luke could respond. Han went to see who was at the door just as the Solo kids and Chewbacca returned to the main living area. All four pairs of eyes were finally dry. Anakin's were even beginning to twinkle with the roguish charm he inherited from his father.

But when Han walked back into room carrying the item that had been delivered, a fresh outbreak of wails and sobs commenced. "Kriffing funeral wreath," Han muttered. He took it to the kitchen to be disposed off.

Mara felt like her head was going to split in two. It was one thing when her children cried. She could soothe them through their Force bond. Plus, they were still small. The Solos were young adults, with the strength in the Force to match. If the holoseries continued to manipulate the emotions of her extended family, either she or they were not going to survive.

"You know, Chewbacca, you and I haven't really spoken in a while. We should catch up." Mara motioned to the Wookie. He followed her to a corner far from the others.

_Mara, a Jedi does not seek revenge._

_Get out of my head, Skywalker. And it's not revenge. It's information.  
_

"So, Chewie," Mara began. "Remember when we were forced to land on Reydel…?"

**

* * *

Four standard weeks later, on Yavin IV.**

"The kids finally asleep?" Luke moved over on the couch to make room for his wife.

"Finally. Let's hope Ami remains that way." Their daughter still had the occasional echo of her holovision series-induced nightmare. Mara sighed and picked up the latest communiqués from Karrde. She was long out of his organization, but it didn't hurt to put her hand in now and again.

"Well, well," she chuckled.

"What's so amusing?"

"This headline." She passed the datapad to him.

Luke read it. He raised an eyebrow. "I don't see what's funny." But she sensed him shielding a swift jolt of glee.

"Sudden run on prosthetic arms reported on Reydel," she read out loud. She looked over at him, trying but failing to keep her mouth in a straight line. "You don't find it…intriguing?"

"No, not really." He picked up his own datapad. They read in companionable silence for a few minutes.

Luke cleared his throat. "So where did Han and Chewie go after they dropped Leia off at her latest meetings?"

She shrugged. "They didn't say."

"Hm." He turned back to his datapad.

She read the rest of Karrde's report to herself. Her shoulders shook with repressed laughter.

He sighed. "Do I want to know?"

"Jedi Master Skywalker might not want to know. Ami's father, on the other hand, would very much like to know."

He held out his hand for her datapad. She gave it to him.

He read the report, keeping his expression impassive until the last sentence. He peered over the datapad at his wife, a large grin lighting his face. "Next time, we'll let the Wookie live?"

She smirked.

He sobered, shook his head. "We shouldn't find it funny. You know we're only opening ourselves up for more retaliation. Next thing you'll know, the Sha-Rosti will make us too old to have children, or limit us to just one. Or I'll wake up and fans of the holoseries will be leaving funeral wreaths at _my_ door." The one clause Luke, Leia and Han had managed to insert in the contract stipulated they couldn't be killed on screen. Anyone else, however, was fair game.

She smiled, bright and warm. "I'll take my chances." She moved closer to him, slipped her hand around the back of his head and brought his lips next to hers. "The holoseries are only make believe. This is real."

And she kissed him.


End file.
